"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory"

"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory" is based on the experience of author Caitlin Doughty.  Caitlin was a 20-something with a degree in medieval history when she took a job at a crematory.  Caitlin talks about her experience cremating bodies and her experiences with those bodies -- some are funny stories, some sad, and some just plain weird.

As a result of watching a young girl fall to her death when Caitlin herself was not much older, she has had a fascination with death and how people deal with death.  After her experiences at the crematory, Caitlin became a licensed morticial and is the host and creator of the "Ask A Mortician" web series.  She has also founded the death acceptance collective - The Order of the Good Death -- as well as cofounded Death Salon.  She lives in Los Angeles.

I loved her candid stories, her sense of humor, and her compassion in telling about her journey from performing cremations to becoming a licensed mortician.  Caitlin also talks throughout the book about our society's attempts to avoid facing death by always trying to appear younger and by shutting those who are dying away in nursing homes or hospice centers rather than keeping them home with us as used to be the custom.  We no longer wash and prepare our loved one's body with care prior to burial.  We no longer see and face death in our daily lives.  Do we think we're immortal?

Did you know two humans die daily throughout the world?  Unless it's a celebrity or public figure we tend to ignore death.  Caitlin talks about the rituals surrounding death in other countries -- often quite different than our own and we might think their practices barbaric just as they would probably view ours.  After all, embalming seems to be a fairly new practice -- something we sell to "customers" when their loved one dies.

Have you heard of "Forest Lawn" - a cemetary in Glendale, CA, where a lot of celebrities are buried? She describes it as not just a cemetary but a "memorial park."  An article in a 1959 issue of "Time" called Forest Lawn the "Disneyland of Death."

Jessica Mitford, one of the infamous Mitford sisters as well as a writer and journalist, wrote a book in 1963 called "The American Way of Death" and she was not kind to funeral directors.  It was a huge bestseller staying at the top of the New York Times bestseller list for weeks.  She received thousands of letters from citizens and clergy alike in response to her book.  Mitford declared she would forgo an expensive funeral service herself and be cremated simply.  It was also in 1963 when Pope Paul VI overturned the Catholic Church's ban on cremation.  When this book was written, most Americans were opting for embalming but rates of cremation have been rising steadily since its publication.  It is predicted 50% or more Americans will choose cremation now and in the future.

Caitlin also asks the question as to why we want to view our loved ones after death and want them to look "natural" then goes on to give us examples of how challenging it can be for a mortician to make someone appear "natural" after death.

She also has a section on what happens if you donate your body to science and it is an eye opener!  Another section covers what happens to your body when you commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge.  Caitlin also discusses what happens to unclaimed bodies and the laws that govern cremation and funeral home practices in California.

One of the things that surprised me from the book was the practice that allows the "convenience" of ordering a cremation on-line.  You never have to talk to a person -- all you do is provide a credit card and information about where you want the ashes delivered!  Another surprise is being able to have a "witness" cremation where family and friends can gather to watch the body being cremated and even have one of those present push the button that starts the cremation process.  Some individuals appear to distrust funeral homes and think they're up to no good so they want to be sure their loved one is taken care of properly.

Caitlin also dispels some myths about death and rules about death -- setting straight some of the lies family members have been told by supposedly well meaning others or uninformed law officials.  She also talks about her own brushes with death when she is almost wiped out in a car accident or when she thought seriously about committing suicide.

As I mentioned earlier, Caitlin has an internet side called "The Order of the Good Death" where she started publishing essays and manifestos looking for others who shared her desire for change.  Caitlin's book has given me a lot to think about and strengthened my decision to be cremated when I die.  I highly recommend this book -- It's thought provoking and funny and informative and much more.

My husband is a fan of Edward Abbey books and she shares that his friends stole his body and wrapped it in a sleeping bag and buried it somewhere in the Cabeza Prieta Desert in Arizona rather than have it end up in a traditional cemetary.  Abbey "spent his career warning humanity of the harm in separating ourselves from nature. 'If my decomposing carcass helps nourish the roots of a juniper tree or the wings of a vulture--that is immortality enough for me. And as much as anyone deserves,' he once said."  That practice of returning a body to nature is actually the practice of a number of cultures throughout the world -- They just have different ways of doing it.  pazt